Day 11 started off very chill. I'd had a lot of interaction for the previous 2 days and felt a bit overstimulated, so I chose to spend most of the day in my house. I did some writing, washed some clothes, read my book, and just enjoyed my little patio.
On this trip, I'm learning to enjoy my own company in a different way. I do get time alone at home; I'm alone most nights if I'm not working or have plans to go out. I'm really becoming aware of how much time I waste on doom scrolling, watching true crime channels on YouTube, and generally procrastinating. I believe this is because it's easier to avoid my thoughts at times, and this deep-rooted fear of success that I'm being made aware of here is quite the internal saboteur.
I put things off until the last moment, even things I enjoy doing or things that are important for me and our business. I always do the thing, but I'm also aware of how much stress I could avoid and how much The Witches Hat will benefit from me being more organized and productive.
Self-care and time management are going to the top of my to-do list when I get home. I've also decided I'm going to book a few sessions with a therapist as some of the stuff that has come up for me on my quiet evenings with the moon is going to take longer than a fortnight in Greece to unpack, and I want to tackle them head-on before they attempt to go back into hiding.
At around 3 pm, I caught a cab down to Scala as I was going snorkeling at 4 pm. This gave me time to grab a sandwich and sit by the sea for an hour reading my book.
In the house, there is a library where travelers deposit books they have completed. Having finished the books I brought with me, I opted to read something outside my usual genre (as I typically favor John Grisham and James Patterson on holiday). This book narrates the Trojan War through the eyes of Trojan and Greek women, Helen, and the Goddesses and Muses of Ancient Greece. I am thoroughly engrossed in it and learning something to boot.
As I sat enjoying my book and late lunch, I spotted something I had not seen here before: a seagull.
Where I live in Fleetwood there are seagulls everywhere. I love them and even enjoy the seagull alarm clock in the mornings. They can be a bit renegade ( watch your chips ) but to me they are beautiful graceful birds that lived by the sea long before we did. They are symbolic of home to me.
They are also the symbol of our beloved Goddess Circle The Daughters of Danu. Our Patron is the Celtic Mother Goddess Danu and the seagull is sacred to her.
I had some first pangs of homesickness. I miss Fleetwood, I miss my Goddesses, I miss my family and friends, and I miss the shop. It doesn't mean I'm not having a marvelous time, it just means I'll be glad to get home too.
I felt that the seagull was reminding me that I am a daughter of Danu wherever I roam and she has always got my back.
4 o'clock arrived and I joined my fellow snorkelers outside the Black Rock Diving Centre, and we walked up to the harbor to get on the boat.
I instantly warmed to Captain Gareth, an English man with mischief written all over his face, and was really excited to get on with the trip. I've done snorkeling many years ago in Florida and absolutely loved it. The ride on the boat to our destination was fabulous, especially when Captain G sped up. I adore being on a boat of any type.
Our destination was about 4km away at the site of a shipwreck from the 1980s
We donned our masks and flippers and I was really happy to jump off the boat into the beautiful Aegean sea.
That's when things took a turn. I'd never worn flippers before, and it felt like they were pulling me down like dead weights. I'd already opted not to have a wetsuit because I love the water on my skin too much, so I swam back to the boat and took them off.
Then I tried snorkeling. It was terrible; every time I put my face under the water, I forgot how to breathe, the mask felt like it was suffocating me, and everything kept filling up with water. I was beginning to panic; this was not what was supposed to be happening.
I took the mask off after a few attempts and decided just to swim. I was so upset with myself; everyone else was snorkeling around quite happily, and I felt embarrassed.
No one loves the sea more than me; I was confused.
Then I remembered I was in the sea and silently called on the guardians of the West and the element of water to wash this panic and embarrassment away from me. In a few moments, I was calm and determined to try again.
I put the mask back on and this time remembered how to breathe and had a gorgeous time swimming with shoals of colorful fish and admiring the sea anemones on the rocks below.
We saw a mama octopus protecting her eggs in a hole in the rocks. She was beautiful, so brightly colored in shades of pink and yellow. We even had the good fortune of seeing a seal playing in the water just a little further out.
I'm so glad I pushed through my fears this time; it was a wonderful afternoon, and despite swallowing a couple of gallons of seawater, I had a fabulous time.
We arrived back at the little harbor as the sun was beginning to set. It's such a peaceful, pretty part of Scala. My little Danu friend was waiting for me when we got off the boat.
Who wouldn't want to join me here for a glass of wine as the sunsets ?
I headed back to Eressos for a shower and invited my German friends to join me for dinner in the village. Karin was busy, so Anya and I spent a lovely evening eating, drinking beer, putting the world to rights, and feeding the local cats.
I should've been on a trip to a petrified forest this morning, but I drank far too much beer and, for once, stayed out late.
My alarm woke me at 7. I attempted to get up, then texted the trip company to cancel and slept until 10:30.
I had a moment of giving myself a hard time, "you're wasting your trip," "how will you grow," etc., etc.
Then I quickly remembered that I don't speak to myself like that anymore and I got a bit drunk on holiday! Hardly the end of the world. I had a fabulous evening, I'm sure I'll see the petrified forest next time I'm here, and anyway,
You can take the girl out of Fleetwood, but you can't take Fleetwood out of the girl. It was bound to happen at least once.
On the plus side, I can now attend the Sapphic Healing Circle later today. I'll tell you how that goes tomorrow.
Thank you as always for reading my first-ever blog. It truly means the world to me.
Bright Blessings and much love, Bex xxx
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