So day 4 arrived. The day for me to start truly pushing myself out of my comfort zone and joining in with some group activities. With some mild trepidation I set off to Skala where first on my agenda was a meet and greet for solo travellers which I thought was a good idea and a way to meet people to do things with.
My first problem was getting a cab to out of the village as it was airport switch over day and all the cabs on the island head to Mytaline. I learned this from the owner of the mini market in the square who also offered to call one of the taxi drivers dads to give me a lift.
Den Pirazi, which means never mind in Greek and was the response I received when I inquired about his name, arrived shortly. Judging by his appearance, I would estimate his age to be around 110, although he could have been older. He then escorted me to his even older car. In silence, he drove me down to Skala, and then proceeded to remove my seatbelt and sneakily touch my breast!! Some things have certainly not changed since the 80s. Call me the worst feminist ever, but I couldn't help but think 'go on fella.' I didn't feel threatened at all and was more astonished that he had the audacity.
While I acknowledge the various issues with this line of thinking, I am here to be truthful, and that is how I felt.
Nerves kicked in as I arrived at the meet and greet, so when the host asked for someone to start off the introductions, I put my hand up first and threw myself into it. It's the only way with me sometimes - jump first or not at all. It was actually a pleasant morning, well-organized, and the getting-to-know-you exercises were very laid back and not too embarrassing.
I had some lovely conversations and ended up going for lunch with Dorothy a retired librarian from the bay area of San Francisco. We had a wonderful conversation about life and books and then I joined some of her friends on the beach for the afternoon.
Skala beach is so beautiful and swimming in the sea has always brought me so much joy that I was reluctant to leave for the Self defence class I'd planned to attend.
I was explaining to the ladies that we get the occasional difficult customer in the shop and I felt some self defence skills might be handy.
One of the women there, Georgie from Glasgow said " ach just get a f**kin taser" this seemed like very sound advice so I spent the rest of the afternoon at the beach.
Next on my agenda was a class in Ecstatic Greek Dance when I saw this on the programme I thought to myself " I'd rather stick pins in my eyes" so I signed up.
Truly wishing I hadn't, I forced myself to go.
The instructor Dimitra was a fascinating woman. An archeologist who has a guesthouse in Sparta and does amazing sounding tours/retreats examining the archytypes of the Greek Goddesses and visiting their ancient temples. Dimitra has agreed to do a little interview for the blog later in the week.
I can't lie, the Greek Dancing was every bit as far ouside my comfort zone as I expected it to be. I threw myself in, even forced myself, as instructed, to maintain eye contact with a variety of dance partners who all seemed to be more confident in this class much more than me.
Did I find it uncomfortable.... Yes.
Would I do it again.... Probably not.
Did I meet some lovely people....Yes.
Am I proud of myself for doing it.....Yes.
After this I headed back to my little house to shower, change and head back down to Skala for the opening event which had been postponed due to the storm.
I had arranged to meet some of the women from the beach however it was dark and I wasn't sure I'd recognise them with their clothes on. Many of the lovely ladies I've met sport a similar short, grey hairstyle. So it seemed did 75% of the women at this event, I couldn't see anyone I recognised at all. I did try to speak to one lady I recognised from the beach who I'd made an effort to go and chat with in the afternoon as I noticed she was alone. She shot me down in flames with " if you don't mind I'm with friends" I did feel a bit rattled by this and again missed the familiarity of my local pub where if a stranger turns up alone someone will always make them welcome and include them in the conversation.
I hung around for a bit and watched a couple of the acts which were a bit "angry lesbian " for my taste. I was starting to feel self-conscious and out of place so after about 45 minutes I left.
As I left I noticed an open door and peeping through I could see it was an art studio so I asked the lady artist inside if I could have a look. A few minutes surrounded by the familiar trappings of art, the smell of oil paint and a chat with a lovely Greek artist made me feel more centered and I headed back to have a solo beer in the beautiful Village square at Eressos then went to bed.
When La and I first came up with our Introduction to Witchcraft Course we named it
"The Path to Authenticity" then changed it to I.T.W because it was more self explainatary.
I'm starting to realise that this trip may be my 'Path to Authenticity.'
The majority of my life I've never really felt like I fit in. I've often wondered who my people are and how to feel like I belong.
As a teenager and at School I always felt like a weirdo who didn't fit in, yet 42 years since leaving school I am blessed to still be friends with many of my old school pals and love meeting up with them a few times a year. I have dear friends who I've known since age 5/6 who mean the whole world to me. I'm even still friends with most of my exes so I've come to realise I'm not as horrible as I felt as a kid.
Witches and Pagans are my people. I am a Proud Witch, yet I know some look down on my modern approach to Witchcraft, my desire to share it with everyone and the fact that although I have deep reverence for The Gods and Goddesses , I refuse to take myself too seriously. I don't fit in.
Artists are my people , art is in my veins, I hold a Masters degree in fine art. Yet everytime I attend a contemporary art event I. find the majority of people pretentious and up their own backsides. Art to me should be for dreamers, misfits and revolutionaries, not the middle class, investor led scene of today. I don't fit in.
I'm a lesbian. I love women not just physically but emotionally I connect with them on a way I never could with a man yet I have very few lesbian friends and am not a big fan of "the Scene" ,never have been. I'm not lesbian enough for some groups of Gay women and at times they're a bit too lesbian for me . It's just my sexuality, it doesn't define me so often when with other lesbians, I don't fit in.
As a mother my children and grandchildren are my world. I would kill and die in a heartbeat for my family. Yet I've always had imposter syndrome and never felt good enough to have these wonderful , now adult kids. They are all wonderful humans so in hindsight my wing and a prayer, a lot of mistakes and a lot of love style of parenting worked out ok.
I guess what I'm realising already on this trip is I don't need to fit in. I just need to be Authentic, walk with the Goddess and try hard not to be a Tw*t.
I'm identifying some layers of wanting to please people and be approved of that need to be shed. I don't think ecstatic dance is the answer but maybe something I discover on this trip will help.
I'm off to Skala now for a worksfop on feminest tarot, I won't be mentioning not punching Den Pirazi in the face when he copped a quick feel.
Thanks for bearing with me today. This whole Blog thing is turning out to be the most cathartic and helpful of all.
Bright Blessings Bex.
Comments