On the fifth day, I started feeling a bit off. When I'm at home, I use a vaporizer for some plant medicine in the evening. Besides its calming effects, it also provides significant pain relief for my knees, neck, and other parts of my body that are showing signs of aging.
I didn't bring any along for my trip as not only did I not want to get arrested at the airport , I have memories of how frowned upon it was on the Greek islands back in the day ( 5 year prison sentence)
The pain has been a bit rough and I've had to take painkillers which I'm not a fan of but thats ok. What I hadn't counted on were the nightmares. 4 nights in a row I've had the most shocking and vivid dreams in which all my darkest fears came true. I've woke up with a pounding heart, soaked in sweat and with a head full of images I don't want to see.
By day 5 I'm feeling a bit sleep deprived and antsy. Also as a Witch I don't ignore dreams and signs however they come to me.
Fortunately I don't read these night terrors as a sign of impending doom but they are showing me how much fear I am carrying and holding on to . I'm taking them as a wake up call to do something about releasing and managing these fears.
Feeling a bit drained, I made the decision to delay the Feminist Tarot event, which fortunately is happening multiple times throughout the festival. I wasn't quite feeling up to socializing with new people again.
As I was feeling a bit down on myself and wondering what to do, I received a message from my German friends inviting me to join them for a swim followed by a beer.
I am so grateful to have met these women. They are incredibly kind and funny, although they might jokingly object to being called kind, they truly are. Spending time in the warm and relaxed company of these ladies was exactly what I needed yesterday. I'm going to have to be strong and make sure I do what I came here to do and not just hang out on the beach, drinking beer with these wonderful Gals. ( that's next years holiday )
The Girls took me to a little art gallery/ tattoo studio on the beach which also sells beers and coffee and introduced me to it's cool owner Stacey from Jersey and her lovely partner.
More gorgeous, laid back people. That seems to be the vibe of many of the folk who live here full time. There was some great art on show in the Gallery and I couldn't resist buying a couple of small mixed media pieces by American artist Elizabeth Johanna Gilbert. They practically had my name on them.
In further Serendepity, Stacey the owner is selling a canal boat in England ( I've been looking for one) which may well be perfect for me and well within my budget, had a stash of plant medicine and ( this blew me away) is holding a Northern Soul night here on the beach on Wednesday. 3 things I did not be expecting on a Greek Island. I left feeling Blessed and Highly favoured. There's also every chance I'll be coming home with a new tattoo.
All this serendepitous wonder did not however address the issue of all the fear I am carrying with me . Now it had been brought to my attention it felt like something I need to tackle head on but how.
I decided that despite there being a Cher impersonator on in the evening ( I bloody love Cher) I would give it a miss and spend the evening alone in my house and do some ritual.
Under a beautiful waxing moon in Capricorn, using the small statue of Persephone I brought along, some candles, crystals and treasures from the beach I used my tiny altar as a focal point, cast my circle, called my Quarters and Invoked the Goddess.
I spent a couple of hours in a trance like state many revalations came to me of the fears I'm hanging onto came to the surface. I felt overwhelmed and then I received a Charge of Persephone**which brought so much calm to me and hope that all will be well.
I wrote down the Charge and many notes for my journal, spent time in grattitude and closed my circle. I went to bed so much lighter and thanks to having procured some plant medicine slept deeply and dreamless for over 9 hours.
**A charge itself is a promise, made by the Goddess to her followers, that she will guide them, teach them, and lead them when they need her the most.
So today is off to a much better start I feel energised and much stronger. I'm going to an eco flower printing workshop at the gallery today and a dinner for solo travellers this evening.
I've discovered that just up the road is the second largest Osho ashram in the world ,actually here in Eressos ! I'm very compelled to visit although after watching "Wild, Wild Country" on Netflix will be keeping an eye out for hidden caches of machine guns.
I looked it up on youtube and found this
I'm a bit worried.
I began with dancing naked in the rain, then ecstatic Greek dance. Is this the next step? am I on a journey of embarrasing dancing? Will I end up appearing in a lesbian production of 'Hair' here on the beach. Who knows.
I've not decided about Osho but I have emailed the center with some questions.
If I go you can all come too.
I'm so grateful to anyone who reads this.
Bright Blessings and so much love
Bex
Your journey is an inspiration to me, truely facing your fears and discovering you. You are a brave lady. Loving the blog xxx
I love seeing this! You doing amazing and I can’t wait to see your tattoo! Xxx